Twenty repsonses to use with telemarketers

novsand · 12-06-2007, 03:40 PM

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . "

3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the ompany name. Then ask them where it is ocated, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

4. This works great if you are male. Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company." You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"

5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.

6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"

8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"

9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

10. Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company, and they can't sell to employees.

11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "Oh my God!" and then hang up.

12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that elemarketers
cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up.

13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.

16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."

18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . . louder . . . louder . . .

20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.

NOTICE: The above have all been tested and approved for use on telemarketers. No animals were harmed in the testing.

SpiralingxMind · 12-06-2007, 10:47 PM

My sister tells them that the person whom they are calling for has died and it is quite inconsiderate of them to be calling at such a time.

SmurffyFurffy · 12-07-2007, 06:37 PM

I just tell them they have the wrong number...

SpiralingxMind · 12-07-2007, 06:40 PM

But then they keep calling, trying to find the right number. Telling them so-and-so is dead takes your name off of ALL the telemarketer's list until you do something that puts your name back on again.

SmurffyFurffy · 12-07-2007, 06:43 PM

Ok, cool I'll try that! lol

SpiralingxMind · 12-07-2007, 06:45 PM

Besides, it's fun to hear them stammer and apologize and all that. :o) Yes, I am a bi*ch.

SmurffyFurffy · 12-07-2007, 06:51 PM

lol! So am I! It's an elite club we're in! lol!

SpiralingxMind · 12-07-2007, 09:17 PM

It's quite quickly becoming not so elite

Ellyn_Plays_Bass · 12-08-2007, 01:33 PM

Those are all kinda funny but this is the one i use all the time.

When a telemarketer calls answer the phone and when they say "Hello" Say "Hi...Would you like to meet DT?" And the usual response from them will usually be "Who is DT?" when they ask calmly say "DIAL TONE" and hang up very very quickly. LOL I DO THIS ALL THE TIME AND THEY NEVER CALL BACK!

SpiralingxMind · 12-08-2007, 03:46 PM

Haha I like that. The worst is when they are automatic and you can't do anything BUT hang up... that's no fun!

12-06-2007, 03:40 PM	#1 (permalink)
novsand - eGold Supporter - Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Central Texas Age: 33 Posts: 368 Gold Bux: 54,849	Twenty repsonses to use with telemarketers 1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. 2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . " 3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the ompany name. Then ask them where it is ocated, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary. 4. This works great if you are male. Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company." You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?" 5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from. 6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up. 7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?" 8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?" 9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger. 10. Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company, and they can't sell to employees. 11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "Oh my God!" and then hang up. 12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that elemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up. 13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times. 14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation. 15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer. 16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number. 17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes." 18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?" 19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . . louder . . . louder . . . 20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down. NOTICE: The above have all been tested and approved for use on telemarketers. No animals were harmed in the testing. __________________

12-06-2007, 10:47 PM	#2 (permalink)
SpiralingxMind Just me Join Date: May 2006 Location: College- NY, Home- MA Age: 21 Posts: 833 Gold Bux: 59,299	My sister tells them that the person whom they are calling for has died and it is quite inconsiderate of them to be calling at such a time. __________________ There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend And there's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend ... I guess if someone doesn't love you back, it isn't such a crime, But there's a fine, fine line between love, and a waste of time. ... And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore. I don't think you even know what you're looking for For my own sanity, I've got to close the door, And walk away...

12-07-2007, 06:37 PM	#3 (permalink)
SmurffyFurffy Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Houston, TX Age: 51 Posts: 677 Gold Bux: 7,281	I just tell them they have the wrong number... __________________ :flyhigh::flower: :foshizzle: :nakedangel::hihi: Life is too short for drama & petty things so... laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.

12-07-2007, 06:40 PM	#4 (permalink)
SpiralingxMind Just me Join Date: May 2006 Location: College- NY, Home- MA Age: 21 Posts: 833 Gold Bux: 59,299	But then they keep calling, trying to find the right number. Telling them so-and-so is dead takes your name off of ALL the telemarketer's list until you do something that puts your name back on again. __________________ There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend And there's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend ... I guess if someone doesn't love you back, it isn't such a crime, But there's a fine, fine line between love, and a waste of time. ... And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore. I don't think you even know what you're looking for For my own sanity, I've got to close the door, And walk away...

12-07-2007, 06:43 PM	#5 (permalink)
SmurffyFurffy Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Houston, TX Age: 51 Posts: 677 Gold Bux: 7,281	Ok, cool I'll try that! lol __________________ :flyhigh::flower: :foshizzle: :nakedangel::hihi: Life is too short for drama & petty things so... laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.

12-07-2007, 06:45 PM	#6 (permalink)
SpiralingxMind Just me Join Date: May 2006 Location: College- NY, Home- MA Age: 21 Posts: 833 Gold Bux: 59,299	Besides, it's fun to hear them stammer and apologize and all that. :o) Yes, I am a bi*ch. __________________ There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend And there's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend ... I guess if someone doesn't love you back, it isn't such a crime, But there's a fine, fine line between love, and a waste of time. ... And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore. I don't think you even know what you're looking for For my own sanity, I've got to close the door, And walk away...

12-07-2007, 06:51 PM	#7 (permalink)
SmurffyFurffy Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Houston, TX Age: 51 Posts: 677 Gold Bux: 7,281	lol! So am I! It's an elite club we're in! lol! __________________ :flyhigh::flower: :foshizzle: :nakedangel::hihi: Life is too short for drama & petty things so... laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.

12-07-2007, 09:17 PM	#8 (permalink)
SpiralingxMind Just me Join Date: May 2006 Location: College- NY, Home- MA Age: 21 Posts: 833 Gold Bux: 59,299	It's quite quickly becoming not so elite __________________ There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend And there's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend ... I guess if someone doesn't love you back, it isn't such a crime, But there's a fine, fine line between love, and a waste of time. ... And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore. I don't think you even know what you're looking for For my own sanity, I've got to close the door, And walk away...

12-08-2007, 01:33 PM	#9 (permalink)
Ellyn_Plays_Bass Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: LoNdOn Posts: 76 Gold Bux: 40	Those are all kinda funny but this is the one i use all the time. When a telemarketer calls answer the phone and when they say "Hello" Say "Hi...Would you like to meet DT?" And the usual response from them will usually be "Who is DT?" when they ask calmly say "DIAL TONE" and hang up very very quickly. LOL I DO THIS ALL THE TIME AND THEY NEVER CALL BACK! __________________ Master of Puppets I'm pullin' your strings!:bannanaguitar::bigbird:

12-08-2007, 03:46 PM	#10 (permalink)
SpiralingxMind Just me Join Date: May 2006 Location: College- NY, Home- MA Age: 21 Posts: 833 Gold Bux: 59,299	Haha I like that. The worst is when they are automatic and you can't do anything BUT hang up... that's no fun! __________________ There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend And there's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend ... I guess if someone doesn't love you back, it isn't such a crime, But there's a fine, fine line between love, and a waste of time. ... And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore. I don't think you even know what you're looking for For my own sanity, I've got to close the door, And walk away...

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