When Grandma Goes To Court

SmurffyFurffy · 03-13-2008, 02:58 AM

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they
aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first
witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her
and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do
know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and
frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on
your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their
backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to
realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper
pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, ' Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he
was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking
problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law
practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he
cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your
wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very
quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me,
I'll send you both to the electric chair.'

SpiralingxMind · 03-14-2008, 12:11 AM

Haha the judge made a good call on that one.

novsand · 03-14-2008, 09:04 AM

yeah, good call

MickeyFan · 03-15-2008, 12:20 PM

the judge did make a good call on that one

03-13-2008, 02:58 AM	#1 (permalink)
SmurffyFurffy Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Houston, TX Age: 51 Posts: 677 Gold Bux: 7,435	When Grandma Goes To Court Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.' The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?' She again replied, ' Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.' The defense attorney nearly died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.' __________________ :flyhigh::flower: :foshizzle: :nakedangel::hihi: Life is too short for drama & petty things so... laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.

03-14-2008, 12:11 AM	#2 (permalink)
SpiralingxMind Just me Join Date: May 2006 Location: College- NY, Home- MA Age: 21 Posts: 830 Gold Bux: 59,325	Haha the judge made a good call on that one. __________________ There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend And there's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend ... I guess if someone doesn't love you back, it isn't such a crime, But there's a fine, fine line between love, and a waste of time. ... And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore. I don't think you even know what you're looking for For my own sanity, I've got to close the door, And walk away...

03-14-2008, 09:04 AM	#3 (permalink)
novsand - eGold Supporter - Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Central Texas Age: 33 Posts: 364 Gold Bux: 54,800	yeah, good call __________________

03-15-2008, 12:20 PM	#4 (permalink)
MickeyFan Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Addison, texas Age: 25 Posts: 189 Gold Bux: -463	the judge did make a good call on that one __________________ :flyhigh: :flower: :nakedangel:

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